Friday, June 10, 2016

trading your voice for someone elses...

It doesn't work. And more importantly, you weren't created to borrow or trade. You have your voice for a reason. Your genetic makeup is as it should be. It doesn't mean that you will always recognize your own voice. Your voice can be lost in the hustle, or in the crowd; because truthfully, you can forget what your own voice sounds like.

Maybe your heart is bent toward adoption, but no one you know has ever adopted. Possibly all the other moms you know are softball moms and football moms, and your children have no desire to be softball players or track stars. Maybe you have just had a child, and you are trying to figure out if staying home, working part time, or returning to full-time work is best -- but everyone in your circle of friends and acquaintances still chooses to works full-time. The possibilities of life choices are endless, and to add to the challenge, the possible interruptions shift with each season of life.

Hopefully, you know you have your own voice. Possibly you just don't know how to make it sing yet? How loud is too loud? How quiet is so quiet that you can not create change? Knowing our voices - our true voices - takes more then knowing ourselves. Ourselves have the tendency to fall into line with those we spend time with, how we perceive that we are perceived--even how we perceive ourselves.

This past week I had the opportunity to sub a yoga flow class. This should have been a great thing. Should have been... as I entered the classroom, my own voice was lost in insecurity and fear that I was too different from the other teachers. Yes, I know my sequencing was in line with the class, and yes-I knew what my plan was. But as each new person walked in, I was less sure. By the time I set up on my mat, my own voice was gone. And instead of offering a class that would have met everyone where they were--my own voice was inaudible and my frontal lobe no longer recognized the sound and commands. What followed was a separation between mind, body and voice. It looked like a train wreck-disjointed and beginning to separate from the rails, but unable to hang on. My greatest regret were the lovely passengers that were on board with me.

Living with your own distinct voice takes courage. Finding the right tone and volume level requires practice--and sometimes failure.  Knowing how to live with in healthy parameters, but not letting your thought process stop with what you know, or all you think you know...

As life choices come and go, because they always will' with each season of life--something new will pop up... I believe we need to be less concerned about making the "right" choice; and more discerning if our decision allows us to grow in the direction we want our life to go. I am a firm believer in the need to have some amount of "slow" in our day. Where we set our to-do list, our Bible Study, our agendas aside, and really search for the quiet, to allow God room to shape our hearts and minds--otherwise we choices and wants in life will easily get tangled with the busy of life.

"Above all else, guard your hearts; for it is the source of life." - Proverbs 4:23 This verse is there to serve as a reminder to guard our hearts against evil, but especially the busy and crazy that distract us from a life lived in wholeness with Christ.

If you don't already have time set aside each day for some slow, please begin to create some space for some. God may desire to speak to you and help you see decisions from His vantage point; but He will not force His way into your day. That choice is ours. Where do you want to end up?

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